i wonder where we’re at

Hello all.

It’s been a while, I know. Life sort of found a groove to settle into,
what with going to classes all day and thinking thinking thinking
until my brain hurt; but now I’ve jolted myself out of said groove,
and thus begins the next chapter of adventuring.
I was planning to go up to Tzfat right after my program at Neve
Yerushalayim ended, but was suddenly inspired to live in the moment,
and spontaneously decided Eilat was a better proposition. I enlisted
the company of a friend from Neve, a british girl by the name of
Olivia (and quite the party girl at that), and we embarked on our
journey Sunday afternoon. We met later than anticipated at Chaos
Central (otherwise known as Jerusalem Bus Station)—I had wanted to
leave at 10am, but apparently I was being unrealistic—and little did
we know that we needed to reserve seats on this particular bus route.
Feh! So our new 2 o’clock departure was pushed back to 5 o’clock,
which ended up being delayed an hour, which puts us right around
twilight. So much for a scenic drive through the desert (and ample
daylight to wander around Eilat in search of a hostel).

Anyway. This is where the adventure really began. As soon as I got on the bus, I
passed out, and when I woke up an hour later I promptly stuck in my
earphones and diverted my attention out the window to the eerie
landscape of the desert awash with the pale glow of the full moon
(quite beautiful actually). I was relatively unaware of what Olivia
was up to (even though she was sitting right next to me—like I said,
I had entered into my own world), and when the bus stopped for a
break, she informed me that she had struck up a conversation with the
guy we had noticed back at the bus station (a very israeli macho type,
tight faded jeans, fashion shirt, sweater with fur hood, and big bug
sunglasses—no comment on sense of style here in israel), and when he
had asked her where we intended to stay in eilat and she replied “no
idea really, just gonna follow our noses”, he offered up his apartment
for the night. now normally any level-headed person would chuckle and
shrug it off with an awkward “no thanks”, but seeing as we were
already exhausted, and it was only getting later, she told him she’d
ask me (i guess she figured the least she could do was give me consulting rights). dumbfounded, i glared at her, shocked and appalled—but after
the initial surprise had dissipated, i thought at least check the guy
out first and see if he is indeed a psychopath worth steering clear of
at all costs. i sat down with him over a coffee (on these long bus
rides, the drivers like to pause long enough to smoke and enjoy a cup
o’ joe), and within a few minutes of conversation had established that
he was actually not such a bad guy, just unfortunate enough to be
stuck with a weird fashion/machismo complex that prevented him from
appearing well-intentioned. needless to say, it turns out he worked
nights at a fancy hotel and wouldn’t be in the apartment at all (which
settled my nerves and pushed me to consider his proposition); i
thought we must be nuts, but then again, i’ve gotten myself into much
sketchier situations and come out with a great story to tell (hitching
across the yukon on the back of a harley davidson anyone?), so i
figured, what the hell. we accepted (much to his surprise), and as
soon as he’d gotten us settled (into his teeny tiny apartment—thank
god it was clean), he bolted off to work, and we hit the hay. he woke
us up in the morning after his shift with two big bags full of food,
and we had a great israeli-style breakfast (eggs, toast, and a LOT of
tomatoes, cucumbers, and cheese, cheese, cheese). then we hit the
beach.

Eilat is really not as romantic as it sounds; it’s actually
quite a seedy place. Everyone there is either selling or buying
something, and when you’re 2 white girls (especially a tall blonde—that would be Olivia) in
a tourist town, there’s no question. So once again we were thankful
for our local saviour, who fended off the sleazebags and was gracious
enough to pay for drinks and chairs. He and Olivia sunned themselves
while I ran around snapping photographs of weird things on the shore. Much to our surprise (and dismay), it was actually chilly—i
was wrapped up in a sweater and shawl, and still miserable. I don’t
know how Olivia managed to sit out in her bathing suit—I think she
did it on principle, really. Anyway, we decided to take our friend out
for a nice dinner (our way of thanks), and after a hearty meal, we
went back to the apartment to discover that another guy had been given
permission to stay for a few nights by the hotel management (who
happened to own the whole apartment complex, and kept it for its
staff). This guy was more than happy at the prospect of having two
girls stay in the same room, but before we could protest, our friend
had a minor freak out (in typical fiery israeli fashion), and told us
to grab our stuff, we were NOT staying with that creep. So he devised
a plan to sneak us into his hotel after hours, once the night shift
had its turnover, and get us a room that wasn’t occupied (good thing
he was on good terms with the night manager, he got his hands on the
room list). it was the most sketchy operation ever, we sat in the
lobby for ages waiting for his signal, and then finally bolted down
this long corridor to a staff elevator, and quickly manoevered our way
into a closet of a room (which, it turns out, was worth $770 US a
night. disgusting). by this point i was shutting down, and needed
sleep, so we made the bed and i crashed. Olivia still had strength to
check out the hotel’s jacuzzi, so i bid her farewell and warned her i
would be a very grumpy Alex if she woke me up on her way back in.
Well, grumpy I was, because 2 hours later she AND our friend barreled
into the room, and began to ready themselves for bed. the BOTH of
them. in ONE bed. apparently he needed the nap, even though it was on
his shift. at this point i was awake enough to realize what was
happening, and as they got into bed (she was considerate enough to put
herself between me and him), i instinctively grabbed my pillow and
rolled myself onto the floor. so for a supposed 800 bucks i had the
pleasure and delight of enjoying the luxurious, cold, hard floor of
the Eilat Herod’s. Safe to say the next morning i just wanted to get
the HECK out of there, and as soon as we’d gotten into town, i
promptly set about looking for a hostel. I checked us into a decent
place (actually pretty nice compared to some of the depressing motels
around there), and Olivia and I set off to enjoy the day exploring the
town, checking out shops and the boardwalk (lined with boutiques
filled with clothes and junk).

anyway, the rest of the day flew by, and it was night by the time                                  we’d gotten settled into our
dorm room (with two other girls), showered, and dressed to go out to
eat. we headed into town with one of our new roommates, and our local friend
joined us for a falafel; we then scorned the touristy bars blaring
loud pop music, and opted for a chilled out pub in which we were the
sole customers and the bartender let us pick the music to play (he had
The Smiths, couldn’t believe it). Our friend had to bail early to make
his shift, and I was getting tired and anxious to head back to my
hassle-free room, but Olivia, dear, sweet, Olivia, wanted to stay out
and party. So I told her she was a big girl and could make her own
decisions, but I for one had had enough. I left her with a local
couple of whom she seemed fond, and prayed she would stay out of
trouble. I will spare you the details (they are not mine to
tell—probably all in her mass email), but when I woke up in the
morning, she was nowhere to be seen. I muttered an “oy vey” under my
breath, and thanked heaven when I checked out of the room and found
her sitting in the lobby (with our friend, whom she had tracked down at
some point in her misadventurous night). Both of them were a sorry
sight, and proclaimed “sleep or death!”. I was at their mercy. good
thing i had a book with me; i spent the rest of the morning with my
nose in it, as they slept their woes away. If this story is dragging
out long enough, then you will feel a taste of what my trip was like.
I had to drag her out of her sluggish, hungover sleep, and get
ourselves to the bus station to catch our ride. She had insisted on
the afternoon bus, so this time we could watch the desert roll by in
daylight; I enjoyed the sights (sunset was unbelievable), but she had
fallen asleep as soon as the wheels hit the pavement. Thankful as
always for my ipod, I plugged myself in and desperately tried to
ignore the weirdo hippie guy who had gotten on at some random stop in
the middle of nowhere and was attempting to make eye contact with me.
I held my ground, and eventually dozed off. When I woke up, I was
appalled to find Olivia sitting next to him, happily chatting away!
When she fell asleep again, he tried to move into the empty seat next
to me (the bus was half-full), but I shot him a look of death and he
got the hint and left me alone after that. *sigh* I really hate being
mean, but GIVE ME A BREAK!!! By the time we reached jerusalem, i
wanted to shout for joy at the sight of all the men in black hats and
religious garb who i know won’t bother to try to ogle me or swindle me
or any other despicable thing, they’ll just leave me alone and go on
their merry way. All in all, Eilat really gave me a deeper
appreciation of these religious folk; they may seem strange and
exclusive, but they are so refreshing after the noxious behaviour of
99% of Eilat’s finest.

Alright I know that was extremely detailed and possibly even boring,
but what can I say, I missed regaling you with my tales, so I had to
compensate for the weeks that have gone by without a word.
It is now 2 in the morning, and I must shower and pack, because
tomorrow I embark on the next adventure—to Tzfat, the mystical city
in the northern mountains. 2 more weeks until Sri Lanka!!! Time is absolutely whizzing by.